Why do some single women date married men? After all, relationships with unavailable partners usually result in heartbreak. Most of the men never leave their wives, and the ones who do are no bargain: They’re the type of guys who cheat on their wives.
But women who date married men know this from the beginning. So what’s the payoff for getting involved with one?
She is attracted to him because he’s already involved with somebody else. In many cases, the Other Woman wouldn’t be turned on by the guy if he wasn’t. The fact that he’s “taken” is proof of his desirability. The fact that another woman’s husband wants her is proof of hers.
Forbidden relationships are filled with desire, suspense, and excitement. Married men are only available occasionally; the guy’s wife may be sick of looking at him, but the Other Woman never knows when he can steal away to be with her. She can’t wait to see him and makes the most of their time together.
Consciously, the Other Woman may long for him to leave his wife, but subconsciously she’s glad he probably won’t. She will never have to pick his socks off the floor, listen to him scream at his kids, or use the bathroom after he’s knocked off 25 pages of the latest Tom Clancy in it.
Deep down, the woman who habitually dates married men (or is attracted to them) has commitment issues. She may curse her bad luck, but she’s probably terrified of marriage. She may dread the day-to-day routine. She may fear boredom. She may be afraid that wedlock will spell the end of her independence. She may also believe that all men are incapable of fidelity. To avoid making herself vulnerable, she continually casts herself as the partner-in-crime rather than the potential victim.
Whatever her reasons, poaching another woman’s husband is flat-out wrong. And, while the wife may never find out about the affair, both cheaters ultimately suffer from guilt and eroding self-respect.
If you’re involved with a married man, sit down and have a talk with yourself. Determine what exactly attracts you to a doomed, morally bankrupt relationship. Determine your fears and beliefs about men and marriage. Come to terms with those that don’t serve you and your future happiness.
Then put one foot in front of the other. Walk away from your married man and don’t look back. The guy’s no bargain.