If you are wondering what is the one thing that attracted average looking people to very attractive people, the attractive person will likely say it was the other person’s confidence that won them over. Yes, many attractive women will say that confidence without arrogance is one of the first things they notice about a seemingly average looking man. IT can be absolutely amazing how people are drawn to confidence. But how do you get it? Are some people just born with it? Absolutely not. Many “smooth operators” are successful in the dating scene by merely appearing to be confident (inside, they may be incredibly nervous). So, if you’re the type who think their looks may not be their best asset, don’t worry! What you are about to read is far more useful and valuable than something superficial like looks.
Confidence is the ability to trust oneself and convey that to others. Appearance is half the battle, and by appearance I mean appearing to be confident. If you want to appear more confident, try some of the following techniques:
1) Stand up straight – Good posture from a straight spine convey purpose and strength. Why do you think the term “spineless” means “cowardly”? If you stand up straight, you’ll instantly appear to be stronger and you mean business!
2) Make eye contact – Showing that you are not afraid to look someone in the eye means that you are strong and truthful, and you want to meet their scrutiny. One of the easiest tip-off that someone is lying is their inability to look someone in the eye. However, be warned! In some cultures, looking someone in the eye may be considered disrespectful, so research your audience first
3) Smile – Being able to smile is a very easy way to make someone feel comfortable around you. It shows the other person(s) that you are happy (duh!), healthy and wise. Besides, who wants to be around someone with a frown?
4) Lean forward, but only slightly – No matter if you are sitting or standing, leaning slightly forward rather than pulling back shows you’ve got energy and forthrightness, which signals strength and willingness. If you happen to be speaking with someone, it may also show that you are interested in what they are saying (or you are hard of hearing!).
5) Shake hands like you MEAN it! – One of the first things that turn me off someone is the old “wet handshake”, where the other person is barely gripping your hand. To me, it tells me the other person is either very weak, not very confident in themselves, or merely not interested in me. Whatever it is, it’s probably not the type of person I’d be interested in speaking with. By giving a firm handshake (not one where the other person is trying to crush your hand!), it shows the other person that you are friendly, but assertive. It also says that you are unafraid, you’re an equal, you’re friendly and you’re engaging. This also applies to women! A firm handshake tells me a lot about a person. If you combine this firm handshake with direct eye contact, you are probably over half way to winning someone over…and all within the first five seconds!
So there you have it. A few tips that can help you boost your confidence. If you were try some of these techniques at your next social gathering (or even meeting someone on the street), watch their reaction. However, you must really plan this out first! Although confidence is one of the biggest aphrodisiac, if you appear arrogant, you will lose people faster than you can possibly imagine. Unless your looks can make up for it (ie you’re Brad Pitt, maybe?), you’ll probably be worse off than you were before. But, if you can master these techniques, people will suddenly find you much more attractive and charismatic, then suddenly your datebook will be filled! Good luck, and remember…BE CONFIDENT!!