Brad Pitt is Not the Hottest Guy in Quentin Tarantino’s Latest

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I recently saw the Quentin Tarantino-written and directed film Inglourious Basterds (the bad spelling is Tarantino’s, not mine!) for the first time. It was pretty good, if you don’t mind quite a lot of gory violence. (Hey, they’re Nazis, so they deserve it, right?) I’m a Tarantino fan anyway, though I must admit I’m a bit disappointed he didn’t find a way to work Uma Thurman into this one.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this piece of cinema, though, is that one-time heartthrob Brad Pitt is not the most interesting thing to look at. He was at the peak of his cuteness in Thelma and Louise, actually, and then it’s all been downhill since he hooked up with Angelina Jolie. His Tennessee accent in this, as Lt. Aldo Raine, is rather charming, though. He’s still Brad Pitt. He’s just got competition.

The guys to watch out for in Basterds are Daniel Bruhl, Eli Roth and Michael Fassbender.

Daniel Bruhl (whose name should properly have an umlat) plays Private Fredrick Zoller, a German soldier. The Germans consider him a war hero because he single-handedly defended a tower against 300 Allied troops. Joseph Goebbels, Hitler’s propagandist, made a movie about, and starring, Private Zoller. It will premiere at a small French movie house where Zoller has a crush on the owner, Emmanuele Mimieux. He doesn’t know Emmanuele is really Shoshana Dreyfus, a Jewish woman whose family the Nazis killed. Zoller is a combination of innocent and Nazi, sweet and cocky. Bruhl, however, is totally cute.

Where you may have seen Daniel Bruhl before: The Bourne Ultimatum.

Eli Roth plays Sgt. Donny Donowitz, known throughout the Third Reich as “The Bear Jew.” His modus operandi is beating Nazis to death with a baseball bat. Roth is tall and buff and has gorgeous brown eyes like a hot Israeli soldier. This movie calls for his character to pretend to be Italian, which reminds me that he looks a bit like Italian-Irish hottie Zachary Quinto.

Where you may have seen Eli Roth before: Quentin Tarantino’s previous movie Grindhouse

Michael Fassbender plays England’s Lt. Archie Hicox, recruited to help out the Basterds for his knowledge of German cinema. Speaking English, he’s very British and very proper. His accent and mannerisms are adorable. Speaking German, though, Lt. Hicox gets his associates in trouble by signalling the bartender for three shot glasses with his index, middle and ring fingers. Oops: that’s the English-speaking way to signal “3;” Germans use the thumb, index and middle fingers. Bloody mayhem ensues.

Though his character in this movie meets a tragic end (all these characters do, as a matter of fact), Michael Fassbender is an actor to watch out for. He’ll be playing Magneto in the next X-Men film.

Where you may have seen Michael Fassbender before: Jonah Hex, or (coincidentally) the UK paranormal TV series Hex.

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